we have officially lost it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
