New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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