Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
