Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
