we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
