so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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