so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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