I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
