his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
false alarm, still single
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
