I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
