So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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