I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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