A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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