You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize