I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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