So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
