hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
