Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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