Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
