Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Randomize
