I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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