Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
