her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
