Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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