I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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