I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
