you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
