How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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