Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
