Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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