Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
is wine microwaveable?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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