so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
