why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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