3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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