in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
