no, he came in my armpit
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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