I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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