I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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