I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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