Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
