I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
