I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
