Nicole vs. Life
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
did i walk over a car last night?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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