What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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