Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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