And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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