i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
