Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
