you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
this hospital has no fireball
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
