Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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