hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
