What a fucking waste of an outfit
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i now understand why vodka
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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