Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
where does the pee come out of this thing
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
