Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
