fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
