ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
