so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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