3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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