note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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