Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
