I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize