if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
