Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
