Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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