Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
