So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
