I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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