if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love you.
Bad choice
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