All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
