Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
