Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
