My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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