Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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