These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
