remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
