she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
